Interrogation

I am a lawyer.  I ask questions for a living.  I know that most 3 and 4 year olds can ask more questions in a day than an attorney asks in 5 years. (I am also a walking dictionary, but that is another post for another day.)  I am in the third year of answering questions.  Ava likes to talk.  She starts as soon as she gets up in the morning and does not stop until she falls asleep.  Sometimes she even talks in her sleep.  I guess she has a lot to say.  {My sister says it's payback because I talk a lot...anyone talks a lot compared to my sister.}  So, putting together the questions with the non-stop talking, you can pretty much guess how my day goes. I must also add that Ava begins EVERY question with "Mom..." or "Mom...mom...momma...."  or "Mom...can I ask you something?"  She says "Mom" at least 1000 times per day.  If she hasn't met her quota, around 8 p.m. or so she starts saying it a bunch of times in a row..."Mommy, mom, momma..." I also have to say "What?" or she repeats the "mom, etc." Here is a sampling of questions asked over the last few days:

• When are you going to be 60?
• When were you 16?
• Why can we only breath on earth?
• How many planets are there? Me:  9 Her:  Well, Olivia says there are 8. A discussion of poor planet Pluto ensues.  (She knows how many planets there are.  This was a question to trick me, or just "filler."  "Filler" is repeat questions when she doesn't have a new one or nothing pressing to say.)
• What's the tallest mountain?
• What's the smallest hill?
• Why doesn't Jill-Jill have germs?  (Jill-Jill = Auntie Jill.  Ava made up the name "Jill-Jill" when she was about 1, and now that's what most of the nieces/nephews call her.)
• Does God have germs?
• Do Satan and his angels live in a lower part of heaven?
• Why did angels go with Satan?
• Is Satan a snake?
• Why is Satan invisible?
• Can we take a rocket to Neptune?
• Is Jeni's baby coming out of "here" [pointing to the v-j-j]?  Me:  Yes, she will push out the baby.  Her:  You mean like this [grunting ensues].  Jeni = Auntie Jen  Side-note - about a year ago, Ava was asking how babies "get out."  I gave her an answer that I thought appropriate for a 3 y.o., but she did not accept it. "No, really.   How?"  So, I had her call Jill-Jill (a certified nurse midwife), who explained it with medical precision.
• Does God have a body?
• What does 'yoy' spell?
• What does 'ajlkemi' spell?
• Why are my eyes grey?
• Why do earthworms live in the mud?
• What would I do if I were an octopus?
• Do you know what the biggest number is?  30569!
• Will you be dead when you are 100? 
• When I grow up and go to court, will you drive me?  I will sit in the back in the middle seat.  Will you drive me to Costco, too?
• Are there spiders in the Maui Rainforest?
• Do you think that black spider is still under the couch?
• Do all spiders bite?  Do the spiders in the Maui Rainforest bite? Do tarantulas bite?
• and the list goes on....
 

Yesterday she took a nap (she doesn't nap anymore, although the 2 hours of peace is enjoyable, the late night is not), so she didn't go to sleep until almost 11.  She woke up at 12:30 to go potty - in our bathroom of course.  After advising me that she was not going to flush the toilet, she says, "Did you know that there are 4 planets with rings?"  And then I spent the next 1 1/2 hrs lying in bed trying to remember which planets actually had rings....on to the next day.

Coming tomorrow:  my tribute to law day.